The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize