So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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