Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
