So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
