Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
