How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
