Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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