I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
