there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
