Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
