he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Drake has all the answers
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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