dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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