you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
