just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
