I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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