She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize