i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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