I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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