No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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