Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
