So drunk its hurt
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
