These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
