I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
soo... how was my night?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
