if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize