did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
