I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
