All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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