Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
