i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need to stop coming to work sober
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
