Kiss
Puke
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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