Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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