All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
