It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize