Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
