Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
