Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
