Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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