Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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