Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
