she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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