good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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