White coat. Heels.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
