Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
