Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
