The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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