btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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