you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
