I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
