no. you can't hotbox the world.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
