I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
