You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
