a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
