whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know her cup size but not her name....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
