apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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