Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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