What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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