can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
