What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
