The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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